GOOD MORNING, FUCKERS! #26
OK, I’ve been lying to myself for a couple of weeks now. I’m on a writing hiatus, but I never said I was, so it’s actually working except for writing GF columns. If I have everything planned correctly then I can get back to writing the week after next. Because if I put in a lot of good work today, then I can have the number one biggest problem plaguing me taken care of on Thursday. A lot depends on what I do today, though, so I’m going to keep it short as possible.
Every creative? Are you sure? I appreciate the sentiment because it makes me look like I’m working harder than I have any right to work, but the fact of the matter is, no one ever told me to “be realistic.” No one ever told me that I “probably didn’t have what it takes.” I was encouraged by everyone along the way. Not a single person tried to do otherwise. Keep in mind, these are people who actually saw what I wrote way back when. The stuff that really sucked. The stuff you have to write to get it out of your system before you can get on to the better stuff. They would have had every reason to discourage me, but they didn’t.
I wrote with the intention of earning a living at it one day, but I, myself, knew that I needed a backup plan, so I have a square job. Square jobs are especially helpful for writers for one thing in particular. They tend to take writing time away from you (unless you figure out how to write on the job, which is kind of easy), but they are great for getting medical, dental and vision coverage. Which is very good for me, considering how many times I’ve been in the ER and the hospital. But *I* was the realistic one. No one told me to do that.
I find it hard to believe that this happens to “every” creative. I get it if it’s a relative, like a parent, for example. You can’t exactly cut a relative out of your life, although it would be best to keep your distance. But if someone discouraged my writing at any point? Why would I keep them in my life? So I imagine that a lot of people are similar to me in that they would not tolerate such negativity in their lives. That people who said they were friends were, in all actuality, not friends.
I know it sometimes happens, but “every” time? So let’s find out. A lot of creatives read this. Were you ever discouraged? Told to be “realistic”? Let me know.
On to the things I posted this week!
I think that felons should be able to vote, even though Donald Trump is now a felon.
The Ninth Amendment should help us shut up a lot of assholes trying to take rights away from people.
After a lifetime of enjoying McDonald’s, I’m about to kick them to the curb.
And I wrote about 100 orgasms. ‘Nuff said.
As always I have a website.
If you loved me, you’d buy my book, Tales of Unspeakable Taste. It’s a collection of short stories, mostly horror, bizarro and SF. It has another of my office horror stories, “Attitude Adjustment,” in which I examine office culture and how even if you’re the victim of a conflict, you are in the same amount of trouble as your victimizer. Then there’s my clickbait story about sending a TMZ reporter back to the crucifixion, a popular time travel tourist trap. And then of course there’s “Monster Cock 2,” and did you see the author photo on the back of the book? One of my publishers, Nick Day, painted it based on an old Facebook profile pic of mine, and it’s gorgeous. Every time someone picks up the book and reads the back, they comment on the picture. I like to tell them that Nick “drew me like one of his French girls.” Which isn’t even close to the truth, but what the hell? Little known fact: if I’m ever rich enough I want to commission a full nude portrait of me from Clive Barker that I would put up in my living room and force visitors to look at.
Just kidding. Probably.
I’ll see you next week, which will hopefully be the last of this hiatus that’s not really a hiatus. The newsletter after that should be better, I hope.